Love At First Words

By The Girl in the Yellow Dress

Once upon a time, I used to run a London advice column and go by the title, ‘The Girl in the Red Dress’, so it would be appropriate for nostalgic attribution; I pick up where I left off and pay tribute to the name. Or I could tweak it. After all, new era, new name, right? How about ‘The Girl in the Yellow Dress’, as this is my colour of choice these days, and a credit to my upcoming website, whose tag will be ‘Rise and Shine!’ Wink, wink.

We have all been asked whether we believe in 'love at first sight'. I often replied, “I don’t”. But I discovered we can fall in 'love at first words', which inevitably leads to 'love at first sight. What do I mean?

Well, I am sure most of you reading this have, at some point, used a dating app. Online dating has, regrettably, shaped dating and finding love into some sort of takeaway order. “Italian today, and maybe I will have … Moroccan tomorrow?”

But a few lucky ones reading this will have experienced “love at first words,” the type of love we see in films like Love Hard. You feel an instant connection when two minds meet without ever setting eyes on each other. And after hours, days, and weeks of sharing messages and calls, you find yourself hopelessly falling for someone you have never laid eyes on. How do you know you have fallen? When the possibility of them looking nothing like the pictures they have shared with you is not even a concern. How did this happen?

Is it possible that what our grandparents have repeatedly taught us is the answer: the inside is what counts, i.e., a person’s character, their ability to communicate, share, listen, and make you laugh? Is this the remedy﹘the golden glue for a healthy relationship? Maybe we should be swiping on people's blurbs and audio notes instead of profile pictures.

Fast forward to the moment you meet this stranger that has occupied space in your mind for the last few months and is slowly creeping into your heart. And although they are slightly plumper or no longer sporting the six-pack they had five years earlier in the picture they sent you, it doesn’t matter. The chemistry is undeniable!

But what happens next? Life…reality gets in the way, and we don't allow ourselves to plunge into the unknown; instead, insecurities, social norms, superficialness, and fear take the driver's seat. And, of course, there are so many more options on tonight’s takeaway menu!

What's my advice? Fight, don’t flight! Grab it with both hands! Persist! Love! Because those connections are rare. And don’t assume the grass is greener if you jump the fence: stay and water that grass!

One day, when your skin sags and your hair thins, that chemistry will be what keeps you connected. The ability to make each other laugh will force you to push yourself up from your bed.

As our grandparents said, physical beauty is short-lived, but inner beauty lives until our last breath.

Love,

The Girl in the Yellow Dress